Im not in to good a mood lately... i miss becca so much... the states is fun and all... but my sister and her husband keep arguing about the most random stuff... and its kinna annoying...
Becca is with her grandparents now... i miss her so much... she means everythiung to me and i dont know what i would do with out her... but i dont know what is going on... she dosnt act like she misses me, dosnt reply to my messages or emails... didnt call me like she said she would... i cant sleep... i cant eat right... everything that is going on keeps reminding me of her and i dont know what the heck is going on anymore...im so scared you have no idea...
Well im prolly off to Border Control next year, prolly around mid june... and i have been talking to becca, she said she wants to go with me to one of the 4 states for 2 years then go to her college... and i would go to the same state as her... but she tells her friends she wants to go to Denison and tells me that she wants to get a dorm... i want to live with her and i will give up border control in a heart beat if i know that she actually wants to stay with me and i would go to Ohio just to do that, i would do college, find a job, and then join the police force once im 23... i dont know what im gonna do... i need to talk to her when i get back and find out whats going on...
today i got back from project revolution, that was freakin amazing, but i wasent as hyped as i should have been... brent couldnt come, my sister and her husband got into a fight htis morning, and becca didnt call me like she said she would... and becca not calling me like she said she would kinna made me really... sad/depressed...
I dont know what becca did today, but when i checked myspace when i got home, she had on her status that she was 'amazing'... and i got all freaked out... she normally only says that after makeing love, or after kissing me... or anything that has to do with only doing with her boyfriend... im so freakin scared and sad... fuck my life...
when becca goes back to school im gonna have to visit alot... i miss her so much... and that all the time... so i cant wait for the 2nd of august... when i get to hang out with her... i love her...
I love her so much... i dont think anyone understands... im hopeing to marry her... i have never felt this way, and i would fight for even a 1% chance to stay with her forever... i dont know what to do... i love her so much...
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